Depression Can Kill You – Day1

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I feel awful, depression begin deeper every day. Because of alcohol, regress with working out and news from friends about my ex my motivation is equal 0.
Right now even thinking about changes doesn’t make sense for me. I feel like I don’t have time to working out and doing anything. I don’t have time to ean money and travel. I don’t have enough time to begin with changes. I’m wasted and useless. It’s been almost 6 months like that but now is going crazy. I smoke a cigarette every 30 min. I drink lie 4-5 coffees per day. I eat shit and my fridge is full of veggies for juicing. I started having dreams about her. It became my obsession. That’s crazy. I’m sitting and trying to fix smth I fucked it up yesterday in accident. Another wasted day shit. Tomorrow I have a meeting with my new job. I supposed to have like 4 meetings tomorrow. Im sitting here and doing nothing at 3:35 am.

1. I dream about beautiful girl
2. I dream about Hawaii and creating movie from drone with gopro
3. I dream about Peru and city of golds
4. I dream about looking fit & young
5. I dream about well paid job

Because of not getting what I want I feel depressed. Life sucks a dick.

I cannot make up my mind, I have 100 things to do and I have no idea how to sort them out and finish one by one. Because of cigs my brain is not clear. I cannot spend on task more than an hour and I jump to another where I never finish anything.

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